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So, I finally manage to work through my insurance company's "find a provider" website enough to pick out a likely candidate for a PCP. I nerve myself up to call for an appointment. They are at lunch. For an hour and a half. I have to remember to do this, and force myself to call, sometime this afternoon.

Had a hard time in Family Group last night. For the first time, nothing anyone was saying seemed like it had anything to do with me. And the exercise we started off with made my brain slip gears. Or my brain just stopped working then coincidentally. Whatever, I couldn't string words together into a coherent sentence. Did have a good conversation with DH on the break, so that's a plus. And it is a safe environment to just sit and cry, which is good to have.

I still don't know what the insurance company is covering and what we're paying for. I got a bill for our portion of our insurance premiums, I hope that means we'll get a disability check at some point.

Fucking cold is kicking my ass and messing with my head.
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February 2019

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