multipurposegoddess

I guess I have been busy. I know I frequently think about things I would like to write about but don't quite come up with the down time to think them through much less actually write something to go here.

Anyway, as much navel-gazing as I have to catch y'all up on, today I am posting about my newly deceased uncle, Vsevolod, or, as I have always known him, Svetik. I guess he went by "Steve" out in the world, but I never heard him called that. He was born in Shanghai during the Japanese occupation and Babushka had a hard time getting enough nutrition, etc., while she was pregnant, which probably didn't do him any favors. And my grandfather had some peculiar ideas about child raising that led him to be too demanding of my dad and barely take an interest in Svetik, so the family dynamics were, to put it bluntly, pretty fucked up. He and my dad never got along, as kids or as adults, though the last time they spent together was mostly talking monster movies and was pretty pleasant.

He was a hard guy to be around - loud and ignorant - but essentially well-meaning and genial.

I can't say I'll miss him, particularly, he was never a big presence in my life, but, y'know, one less Skaredoff in the world, and there were never a lot of us.

The memorial service tomorrow night and the funeral proper on Tuesday will be Russian Orthodox, which will be weird for me. I'm not sure how to dress - I thought I had it nailed with my grey suit, but now I'm thinking maybe pants would be frowned upon. I'm sure I have something suitable.

Edited to add: spoke to my dad and he says pants would be okay at this parish, but I need something to cover my head. I have a knit hat that I hope will do, I can't find any scarves. I think I will go with skirts anyway, I can't find my suit pants (why I have the jacket handy and not the pants I do not know, but I have been doing a lot of moving-clothing-around and may have packed them into the wrong box or something). I'll have to wear my memorial service clothes to work, I'll need to go straight to my parents and then leave immediately from there, and i think I'll stay the night so I'll pack my funeral clothes. Sorry, Walter and cast, but you can manage one night, you've done it before.

Dad spent yesterday clearing out Svetik's apartment, which actually helped him feel better. Less guilty. One of the ladies from the church was helping him - she thinks of Svetik as a Fool of God (my dad's translation) and will miss him. I think that might be an apt description. And I'm glad someone will miss him.

 It's been a sort of busy few days. ( It's a lot of words for a couple of days )

Indulging my laziness today. I may do some laundry, but so far I've really done nothing, and it's nice.

 

So we had our regular relationship therapy session yesterday. I spent the whole time feeling like we were talking about nothing - we were, in fact, talking about hypothetical situations and I just don't really see the point of, for example, examining what DH's motivation might be for making a decision that he has not, in fact, made. We're just making stuff up at that point, as far as I care. But, whatever, he got some kind of insight from it, it seemed like. After half an hour or so, our therapist asked me what I thought and I said I didn't see why we were spending so much time on this issue, and she said a bunch of stuff about the addictive mind that I, yes, already know, and went on to misinterpret my spiritual practices. I corrected her on that, at least. And then when we were leaving, she said it was a good session, which leaves me bewildered, because it really seemed like a waste of time to me. I could have sat in the waiting room and crocheted while they talked and gotten as much out of it.

Had a lovely day yesterday. Spent the morning puttering around the house, including steam mopping the bathroom which is always hugely satisfying (the floor gets so clean, and there's no bucket to deal with! Makes me happy). My folks came over after lunch so we could go to the outlet sale at Meyers - they mostly do online and catalog sales, but their two warehouses are in Vallejo and right over here by me and they have warehouse sales annually, 30% off already discounted cookware, basically. Mom and Dad stumbled across the one in Vallejo over 10 years ago when they were coming back from a less than stellar visit to Babushka's. They were both ind of grumpy and didn't feel like going straight home, so when they saw the huge sale banner, they went to check it out. The salespeople and everyone else shopping were very friendly and they got some great deals and they've gone back every year ever since. It's always a good source of Xmas presents, and a good way to get the latest Anonlon nonstick whatevers, which since they cook using virtually no oil is vey useful for them.

Since I moved back to California, I've been going with them, and since I moved to Suisun we've been going to the warehouse over here and then out to dinner. Got myself a dutch oven that I don't strictly need but that will work on the induction cooker, a set of three cast iron frying pans that were extremely cheap, a muffin pan that I actually need, and a set of hot chocolate mugs shaped like penguins with a battery powered mixer and little hat like things that keep the hot chocolate from splashing out while you're mixing it up but you can pop off to drink direct from the mug. Mostly because they are penguins and they are cute, but also because my hot chocolate mixing technique with a tiny whisk and a measuring cup is not great, so why not try this?

Yesterday was also the big day of Christmas at the Waterfront - merchant stalls, an "ice" skating rink (ice skates on some sort of plastic surface) in the plaza, the lit up boat parade, lighting the city Xmas tree, fireworks and I think a bonfire. The merchants and skating will be there next weekend, too. I always enjoy the boat parade, it's just fun. Got some Sutter Buttes Meyer Lemon Olive Oil and Peach Balsamic Vinegar because they had set up a little tasting bar and OMG SO DELICIOUS. I could drink that vinegar. Or use it as a salad dressing with no oil, that's probably more practical. And the lemon olive oil is, mm, so good. t will be drizzled on many things, I'm sure.

There's a fundraiser thing where various groups put together fully decorated trees complete with packages under them that are auctioned off, with the money raised going to whatever cause the group designated. It's pretty neat, and the trees are pretty, so we browsed among those. It's pretty neat to be able to be among a couple dozen decorated trees at once. If I ever decide to have a tree, I'll get one of those, I think. Good causes, extra goodies, I think I could probably fit my few personal ornaments onto an already decorated tree.

After the parade we had a few more stalls to visit and as we wound up with that the fireworks started. Right over our heads. It was pretty sweet, I must say. In the summertime, fireworks don't start until 9:30, so I watch them from my porch, which is still pretty good, but being right under them was kind of incredible. And it wasn't super crowded, which I have always assumed it would be.

Then dinner at Main Street Bar and Grill, who have changed and simplified their menu a bit, but it was still absolutely delicious. For once I didn't get dessert. I have half a grilled pork loin special to munch on for lunch today, yum.

Got home between 7 and 8 and it felt like the middle of the night. I don't think I even got through a whole episode of anything on the DVR before I went to sleep. Did chat a bit with DH, who sounds like he is doing pretty well right now

They found a blockage in his small intestine and they're operating tomorrow morning - dad said they'll try another laproscopic procedure, which would be nice.

I didn't get over there to see him today - I went to get dressed and coudln't put together an out fit that I could leave the house in, so I started doing laundry and getting everything sorted and loads washed and by the time stuff was coming out of the dryer I still couldn't put an outfit together - bad planning on my part - and it was getting late. Talked to my mom at that point, she said that was maybe for the best because my dad feels like he should be in host mode even when he's lying in a hospital bed. And once they got the pain relieved, he was sleeping most of the time, anyway.

In fact, he fell asleep while she was there this evening, so she tiptoed out so as not to wake him, and shortly after she left they woke him up to tell him the plan for tomorrow. When he couldn't reach her at home, he called me, so I did get to talk to him a bit. He sounded groggy.

So, off to transcarquenesia in the morning - I have washed many loads of laundry and damn well better be able to get dressed. I also need to pack an overnight bag - tomorrow is my 5th wedding anniversary, Henry and I have reservations at Gaia , planning on getting massages and whatever else looks good at the spa.

So tired.

My mom is 65 today.

She's a pretty awesome mom. She's also just a nifty person to know. I could go on and on for days and not begin to scratch the surface of how great she is.

Just a small example: mom has always taken dance classes for exercise, but never performed. She doesn't like being the center of attention. Walking me down the aisle when I got married was kind of an ordeal for me, but she did it without complaint because it was important to me.

She's been taking tap from the same teacher for a few years now, and that teacher is involved in a performance troupe. Every class they learn a routine. This spring, they learned two routines that would be part of a sort of variety show/revue/sketch comedy thing. Mom was not into this idea, but learned the dances and got her costumes and, when it came time to perform, even let me and my dad come watch the show. It was a lot of fun, both the show and seeing my shrinking violet (in public and with strangers, when she's with people she knows, nsm) mother tapping up a storm to "It's Raining Men. I'm so proud of her for doing something she wasn't really comfortable doing, and doing it well and enjoying it.

Rock on, Mom!

We're going to see The Mousetrap (Agatha Christie's super secret never published long running mystery) tonight.

Everything is just sort of continuing apace, no dramatic developments on any front. We have asked for a Repair Credit from the bank that's selling the house and received a bit, so that's nice. Still waiting on loan approval for whatever reason.

My sister and her family will be in town this Saturday, for about a week. I'm trying to get the house clean enough to at least have them visit, though I don't know that I'll be able to manage making it habitable for overnight. My parents' house is in complete disarray, so they won't be staying there. Mom has said she might just put them up in a hotel room. The kids will be attending the camp at John Muir's house, I don't know what kind of plans my sister and her husband have. We are hoping to be able to figure something out business plan-wise for their theater, but when we'll do that and how much time it will take I have no idea. So I'm just trying to keep next week open as much as I can. It seems like I have a lot of scheduling to work out after that, but I can't wrap my head around it. It starts with "Assuming we close on the house" and I kind of stall out there and can't get any further.

On our way up to Suisun to meet with our prospective insurance agent on Saturday, we passed a horse trailer, as you often do in these parts. Henry was driving, so I peered in to see what the horse looked like and saw stripes. We were alongside long enough to confirm that it was a zebra! No clue what it was doing traveling east on the I-80.