The First Day of the Rest of My Life
Jun. 3rd, 2011 10:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
multipurposegoddessHave I mentioned that I hate that phrase? It invariably makes me cry. But This Dork Tower showed up this week all timely like, and I am trying to look forward rather than backward today.
Parenthetically, I almost titled this post "Fight the Future" just because I like the sound of it, but I can't really make it make sense. Even more parenthetically: pundits, that "win the future" phrase from whatever Obama speech it was implies that the future is the prize, not our competition. Its pretty straightforward, I don't know why so many of you got that wrong.
Anyway, the point. It's June and my headache is finally under control but it is also Friday, not auspicious for trying to start new routines that I never intend to follow on Saturday, and I apparently needed about 12 hours of sleep last night because I just kept going back to sleep this morning until I got about that much SO instead of just diving in and trying to DO whatever needs doing, today I am going to try to PLAN how to do stuff.
So, what needs doing?
First and foremost, I need to find a job. My savings will carry me a while longer, but it will certainly last longer f I have some sort of income, and having no income at all is just bewildering when it comes to budgeting, all my rules of thumb are based on percentages of takehome pay. I can't see any way around a scattershot approach of just applying everywhere I come across that might possibly hire me. I don't have a dream job that I would love to have or a company I'd love to work for or any goals other than being able to pay my mortgage and not starve. Most of my experience is in retail, but interacting with a bunch of customers all day, I don't know if I can do that at this point. The MBA has had no practical application and is now seven years old, kinda stale. I don't feel like I have any skills, not anything I have the confidence to sell myself to an employer on, anyway.
The two options I've thought of that might suit me pretty well are housekeeping or bookkeeping at the hotel down the street (I don't know that they are hiring, but I figure it wouldn't hurt to ask) as I could then walk to work and not have to interact with guests a whole lot and stocking shelves at REI - I've worked at REI before and they are a great employer, it would be short hours and low pay, but might transition to something that would be a sustainable job for me.
Everything else is gonna be total shots in the dark.
I need a haircut and interview clothes, probably. Looking professional has never been my strong suit and if I have to do it 5 days a week I'm going to need a whole new wardrobe, probably. But that can wait.
My sister suggested making videos of Walter and Wednesday playing and building a YouTube empire on that. I'm taking the idea semi-seriously as an exercise in not getting too locked in to the wage-slave paradigm - in many ways some sort of entrpreneurial effort would make sense for me right now, although my lack of passion and enthusiasm for anything I've thought of so far would be hard to work around.
Secondly, I need togo see a doctor. Thankfully, I've still got health insurance, Kaiser, and they've thoughtfully picked out a primary care physician for me so I can just make an appointment (though he's farther away than I would have chosen, I might call and ask about doctors who are closer). I need all the usual annual exams, HIV and hep tests, new glasses, ADHD meds would be nice, confirrmation of the anemia situation is probably a good idea, possibly something should be done about the whole kidney/gall bladder/whatever business that sent me to the ER (but hasn't really bothered me since, so maybe not), is that all? That seems manageable. Relatedly, I need to get back to regular exercise. I've kept my membership at the gym, so it's really just a matter of going, and making that a habit. I'm eating pretty healthfully, I think, so that's all right. My minuscule meditation practice probably fits in here, as well. Again with the just needing to do it - my goal is so tiny, 5 minutes a day, surely I can do that.
Thirdly, getting my house in order, literally and figuratively. There's just a lot that needs doing, from papers that need filing to furniture that I want to move to repairs that should be made. Figuring out what to do with H's stuff. Streamlining my finances. Legal stuff. None of it is urgent, except mowing the front lawn, but it all has to get done and there is just so much that every little bit I manage to do seems like nothing in comparison to what needs doing. It's very easy for me to spend all my time on this one and still seem to get nowhere. I can't let myself do that, Thing 1 and Thing 2 up there need to take priority. But I can't abandon it entirely, either. It's so much easier to focus on one thing to the exclusion of everything else than to try to balance several things. I should probably split this one further so that literal housekeeping doesn't crowd out the more paperworky housekeeping tasks that really are equally important and onerous
Fourthly, it would be nice to get some writing done. Not to any particular end of having a publishable thing or whatever, but just to establish the discipline of writing regularly again. It's good for me.
That....seems doable. I am somewhat surprised.
Parenthetically, I almost titled this post "Fight the Future" just because I like the sound of it, but I can't really make it make sense. Even more parenthetically: pundits, that "win the future" phrase from whatever Obama speech it was implies that the future is the prize, not our competition. Its pretty straightforward, I don't know why so many of you got that wrong.
Anyway, the point. It's June and my headache is finally under control but it is also Friday, not auspicious for trying to start new routines that I never intend to follow on Saturday, and I apparently needed about 12 hours of sleep last night because I just kept going back to sleep this morning until I got about that much SO instead of just diving in and trying to DO whatever needs doing, today I am going to try to PLAN how to do stuff.
So, what needs doing?
First and foremost, I need to find a job. My savings will carry me a while longer, but it will certainly last longer f I have some sort of income, and having no income at all is just bewildering when it comes to budgeting, all my rules of thumb are based on percentages of takehome pay. I can't see any way around a scattershot approach of just applying everywhere I come across that might possibly hire me. I don't have a dream job that I would love to have or a company I'd love to work for or any goals other than being able to pay my mortgage and not starve. Most of my experience is in retail, but interacting with a bunch of customers all day, I don't know if I can do that at this point. The MBA has had no practical application and is now seven years old, kinda stale. I don't feel like I have any skills, not anything I have the confidence to sell myself to an employer on, anyway.
The two options I've thought of that might suit me pretty well are housekeeping or bookkeeping at the hotel down the street (I don't know that they are hiring, but I figure it wouldn't hurt to ask) as I could then walk to work and not have to interact with guests a whole lot and stocking shelves at REI - I've worked at REI before and they are a great employer, it would be short hours and low pay, but might transition to something that would be a sustainable job for me.
Everything else is gonna be total shots in the dark.
I need a haircut and interview clothes, probably. Looking professional has never been my strong suit and if I have to do it 5 days a week I'm going to need a whole new wardrobe, probably. But that can wait.
My sister suggested making videos of Walter and Wednesday playing and building a YouTube empire on that. I'm taking the idea semi-seriously as an exercise in not getting too locked in to the wage-slave paradigm - in many ways some sort of entrpreneurial effort would make sense for me right now, although my lack of passion and enthusiasm for anything I've thought of so far would be hard to work around.
Secondly, I need togo see a doctor. Thankfully, I've still got health insurance, Kaiser, and they've thoughtfully picked out a primary care physician for me so I can just make an appointment (though he's farther away than I would have chosen, I might call and ask about doctors who are closer). I need all the usual annual exams, HIV and hep tests, new glasses, ADHD meds would be nice, confirrmation of the anemia situation is probably a good idea, possibly something should be done about the whole kidney/gall bladder/whatever business that sent me to the ER (but hasn't really bothered me since, so maybe not), is that all? That seems manageable. Relatedly, I need to get back to regular exercise. I've kept my membership at the gym, so it's really just a matter of going, and making that a habit. I'm eating pretty healthfully, I think, so that's all right. My minuscule meditation practice probably fits in here, as well. Again with the just needing to do it - my goal is so tiny, 5 minutes a day, surely I can do that.
Thirdly, getting my house in order, literally and figuratively. There's just a lot that needs doing, from papers that need filing to furniture that I want to move to repairs that should be made. Figuring out what to do with H's stuff. Streamlining my finances. Legal stuff. None of it is urgent, except mowing the front lawn, but it all has to get done and there is just so much that every little bit I manage to do seems like nothing in comparison to what needs doing. It's very easy for me to spend all my time on this one and still seem to get nowhere. I can't let myself do that, Thing 1 and Thing 2 up there need to take priority. But I can't abandon it entirely, either. It's so much easier to focus on one thing to the exclusion of everything else than to try to balance several things. I should probably split this one further so that literal housekeeping doesn't crowd out the more paperworky housekeeping tasks that really are equally important and onerous
Fourthly, it would be nice to get some writing done. Not to any particular end of having a publishable thing or whatever, but just to establish the discipline of writing regularly again. It's good for me.
That....seems doable. I am somewhat surprised.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-03 06:54 pm (UTC)In all honesty, putting together your blog posts would make an admirable book. You'd need someone far less close to the events than you to edit it, but it's a project you might pursue. Just something to think about.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-03 07:49 pm (UTC)It's funny, I rarely re-read what I've written here or even think about it once I've posted it unless someone comments. The same with my paper journals, I hardly even flip back to the most recent entry to see what I was talking about previously. Gathering them together into a book is an idea I doubt I would ever have come up with, but definitely an interesting thought.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-04 05:23 pm (UTC)And furthermore, I agree, I admire where you are and what you've done through this year. And yes, the things you have coming up seem reasonable and doable.