Benefits and Vices: Random Babbling
May. 16th, 2007 12:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Got all thinky, typing it out to get it out of my head. Behind the cut to spare you my disjointed ramblings.
I think I'm going back on the Atkins Diet. I need to do something, and that has worked for me in the past with a lower level of stress than most diets I've tried. The main reason I haven't gone back to it in a while is that DH thinks it's unhealthy. And it kind of is, for him, since he doesn't actually follow the diet, he just eats whatever I make for dinner but goes on having whatever sugary things he wants while he's at work, so he ends up wioth more fat and protein in his diet from the Atkins but not cutting down on the carbs. He's gonna have to figure that out for himself, I'm afraid. It probably won't be worse than our current diet, which is heavy on the fast food and junk.
Anyway, this need I have to diet has gotten me thinking about food that is bad for you. I don't eat too much fat and sugar because I feel bad about myself or have a yawning hole of emotional problems I'm trying to fill with food; I eat too much fat and sugar because it tastes good and it's easy to get. And some self-soothing, in as much as eating comfort food really does make me feel better.
It's something I realized when I was a young woman dealing with self-esteem issues by sleeping around. One night stands work as an ego boost. They are, weirdly enough, an accomplishment, a success, and proof of attractiveness.
What's that saying about addiction and performing an action knowing you won't get the desired result? I'm probably garbling it. My point is, vices are so often portrayed as having no benefit, that people who indulge in whatever bad thing are just self-destructive. it seems likely to me that more often the known long-term injuries are just overshadowed by the real but short term benefits that the vice, whatever the flavor, really does provide.
The benefits I really wanted to talk about, however, are health benefits from DH's job. I haven't been to a doctor in a year and a half, and not to a non-OB/GYN for more like six or seven years. Some of that is just my general difficulty with making appointments, picking a PCP, and discussing all my concerns with a complete stranger. Some of it is the result of volatility in my health insurance. I had no coverage for years, and in the last year my coverage has changed three times. DH is talking to headhunters and making noises like he'd like t o change jobs again soon since the Motorola takeover, and that will mean yet another different health insurance for me to try to figure out.
I don't have any pressing and immediate problems, so my instinct is to wait until I have some stability and try to establish a relationship with a doctor that I can keep going to for a while, but it wears me down to keep putting it off.
I think I'm going back on the Atkins Diet. I need to do something, and that has worked for me in the past with a lower level of stress than most diets I've tried. The main reason I haven't gone back to it in a while is that DH thinks it's unhealthy. And it kind of is, for him, since he doesn't actually follow the diet, he just eats whatever I make for dinner but goes on having whatever sugary things he wants while he's at work, so he ends up wioth more fat and protein in his diet from the Atkins but not cutting down on the carbs. He's gonna have to figure that out for himself, I'm afraid. It probably won't be worse than our current diet, which is heavy on the fast food and junk.
Anyway, this need I have to diet has gotten me thinking about food that is bad for you. I don't eat too much fat and sugar because I feel bad about myself or have a yawning hole of emotional problems I'm trying to fill with food; I eat too much fat and sugar because it tastes good and it's easy to get. And some self-soothing, in as much as eating comfort food really does make me feel better.
It's something I realized when I was a young woman dealing with self-esteem issues by sleeping around. One night stands work as an ego boost. They are, weirdly enough, an accomplishment, a success, and proof of attractiveness.
What's that saying about addiction and performing an action knowing you won't get the desired result? I'm probably garbling it. My point is, vices are so often portrayed as having no benefit, that people who indulge in whatever bad thing are just self-destructive. it seems likely to me that more often the known long-term injuries are just overshadowed by the real but short term benefits that the vice, whatever the flavor, really does provide.
The benefits I really wanted to talk about, however, are health benefits from DH's job. I haven't been to a doctor in a year and a half, and not to a non-OB/GYN for more like six or seven years. Some of that is just my general difficulty with making appointments, picking a PCP, and discussing all my concerns with a complete stranger. Some of it is the result of volatility in my health insurance. I had no coverage for years, and in the last year my coverage has changed three times. DH is talking to headhunters and making noises like he'd like t o change jobs again soon since the Motorola takeover, and that will mean yet another different health insurance for me to try to figure out.
I don't have any pressing and immediate problems, so my instinct is to wait until I have some stability and try to establish a relationship with a doctor that I can keep going to for a while, but it wears me down to keep putting it off.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-16 10:21 pm (UTC)Is there anyway you could find a PCP who you know is covered under multiple plans? A lot of the major health centers in a given geographic region are usually carried by all the major insurance carriers in that given area. Even if you don't feel like there's anything majorly wrong, it doesn't hurt to go in for check-ups in the sense of preventative maintenance. Getting things nipped in the bud is much easier than having major complications to deal with down the road. My last company did biannual health assessments that were available to family members, too. Any chance the DH's company offers anything like that?
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-16 10:56 pm (UTC)There's nothing stopping me from going in for a checkup right now except me. Our coverage right now is really good, I just haven't been able to make myself take advantage of it, yet, and now I'm dreading the thought that it will go away before I manage to. But good health benefits is no reason for DH to stay with a company that he is otherwise unhappy with. It's generally a good thing that he doesn't have the same craving for stability and security that I do, it keeps us balanced, I think. This is just one more thing that's out of my control. What I should do is not worry about that and just go see a freaking doctor already, how hard is that?
I have an OB/GYN that I've been to and like and I should at least go get a pap smear and whatnot, but I am reluctant to for a very stupid reason - she looked downright shocked when I told her my weight, and while I lost some last fall I had gained previously for no net change. It makes very little sense, but there it is. So, I'm just generally fed up with myself.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-16 11:08 pm (UTC)Not allowed! We all have issues, subscriptions even, that slow us up. You'll get there when you're good and ready. Be kind to yourself, hon.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-16 11:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-17 01:07 am (UTC)There's a line in a song that goes "Everybody's talking about my drinking, but they don't say nothing about my thirst."
Go checkup. Choose checkup. I want you around for the long run, and I'm too aware of the ways your body can turn on you. Any doctor who makes you feel bad about your weight is an asshat, and his or her opinion is irrelevant. At least get a pap smear.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-17 02:19 am (UTC)Getting my "objections" out where I could see how ridiculous they are mostly got me over them, but a swift kick in the pants doesn't hurt.
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-24 12:02 am (UTC)I went without medical benefits and medical checkups for many years. I have good insurance now, but I'm still kinda lax about checkups. They're just a pain, and I'm lazy! Don't follow my example. :)