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So, barbecue yesterday was at 2 pm and I was there for about 5 hours. Barbecue today started at noon and I was there for about 5 hours. Both days, I found getting somewhere at a particular time really hard, like the whole morning was stressful efforts towards being ready, and those 5 hours were really pushing it for being out among the humans. if I had to be at a job at 9 every day and stay there for 8+ hours, I don't think I could do it. I can't imagine that working, right now.
Spoke to the coroner's office again. They have the toxicology report, but it hasn't made it to the pathologist yet because a couple of their transcriptionists retired so now there is a transcriptionist shortage and a backlog of reports, yadda yadda yadda, it'll be a couple more weeks before I have a death certificate. But at least I know why. And everyone I've spoken to (and I suspect I have talked to all of them by now) in the Alameda Coroner's office has been as polite and helpful and sympathetic as they could be.
Taking the train today was a lot more emotional than I expected it to be. H used to commute on the train, to Emeryville, in fact, which is where I was going today. Whenever we'd take the train together, we'd usually cover a stretch of his commute and he'd tell me all the little things you pick up taking that route all the time - how long between stations, the good views, etc. So I was missing that. And the E-ville station is across the street from where his office used to be (which was convenient for his commute) so I got hit with those memories: any time I met him for lunch or picked him up after work or whatever. Then I took the EmeryGoRound, which I've never done before s I was relying pretty heavily on NextBus to figure it out. Back when we lived in Benicia, H's commute was the Benicia Breeze to BART to the EmeryGoRound (and all that in reverse to get home) and I used to track his progress on NextBus so I'd have some idea of when to expect him. I'd pretty much forgotten that, but opening up the website on my phone brought it back instantly. But I managed not to be all weepy in front of strangers (I feel like it's imposing on people who are just going about their own business to start bawling in public. Most people feel compelled to ask what's wrong, at the very least, and that's kind of unfair when there's nothing they can do. People who come to visit me know what they are getting into, I hope, but people innocently riding the bus deserve some protection) and the barbecue itself, once i got there, was delightful - lots of good company and a great backyard to enjoy and good food.
I am completely exhausted and trying hard to stay awake until sunset, at least. I should be able to rest up tomorrow, I don't think I have anything at all planned (except for services, and we will just have to see about those. If I don't go, I don't go, oh well.)
Spoke to the coroner's office again. They have the toxicology report, but it hasn't made it to the pathologist yet because a couple of their transcriptionists retired so now there is a transcriptionist shortage and a backlog of reports, yadda yadda yadda, it'll be a couple more weeks before I have a death certificate. But at least I know why. And everyone I've spoken to (and I suspect I have talked to all of them by now) in the Alameda Coroner's office has been as polite and helpful and sympathetic as they could be.
Taking the train today was a lot more emotional than I expected it to be. H used to commute on the train, to Emeryville, in fact, which is where I was going today. Whenever we'd take the train together, we'd usually cover a stretch of his commute and he'd tell me all the little things you pick up taking that route all the time - how long between stations, the good views, etc. So I was missing that. And the E-ville station is across the street from where his office used to be (which was convenient for his commute) so I got hit with those memories: any time I met him for lunch or picked him up after work or whatever. Then I took the EmeryGoRound, which I've never done before s I was relying pretty heavily on NextBus to figure it out. Back when we lived in Benicia, H's commute was the Benicia Breeze to BART to the EmeryGoRound (and all that in reverse to get home) and I used to track his progress on NextBus so I'd have some idea of when to expect him. I'd pretty much forgotten that, but opening up the website on my phone brought it back instantly. But I managed not to be all weepy in front of strangers (I feel like it's imposing on people who are just going about their own business to start bawling in public. Most people feel compelled to ask what's wrong, at the very least, and that's kind of unfair when there's nothing they can do. People who come to visit me know what they are getting into, I hope, but people innocently riding the bus deserve some protection) and the barbecue itself, once i got there, was delightful - lots of good company and a great backyard to enjoy and good food.
I am completely exhausted and trying hard to stay awake until sunset, at least. I should be able to rest up tomorrow, I don't think I have anything at all planned (except for services, and we will just have to see about those. If I don't go, I don't go, oh well.)
