My entire life, including childhood, since I was "big for my age", has been spent on one diet or another. In my teens and twenties, avoidance seemed much the best plan, so I practiced it as much as I could, considering I had two children who needed more or less regular meals to thrive. Once they were self-sufficient, so long as ingredients were provided, I returned to my starve-and-binge ways, which inevitably eventually played merry hell with my blood sugar. The diabetes was just the latest thing to force my focus on food.
Honestly? While I do react positively to pleasant tastes and textures, the *thinking about it*, shopping, plannng, preparing, etc., is at constant war with my learned avoidance of food. I said long ago, just give me a pill or a smoothie--even an evil-tasting one, as long as it's just once a day--put it in my hand and let me chug it and *not have to think about it*, and I'll be happy.
I know it's a problem, and I work on it constantly, and I also know it won't ever be completely resolved.
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Date: 2010-09-08 08:07 pm (UTC)Honestly? While I do react positively to pleasant tastes and textures, the *thinking about it*, shopping, plannng, preparing, etc., is at constant war with my learned avoidance of food. I said long ago, just give me a pill or a smoothie--even an evil-tasting one, as long as it's just once a day--put it in my hand and let me chug it and *not have to think about it*, and I'll be happy.
I know it's a problem, and I work on it constantly, and I also know it won't ever be completely resolved.
But your shakes sound kind of like Nirvana to me.