Further Reflection
Jun. 26th, 2012 02:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
multipurposegoddessNot "upon further reflection" because said reflection is ongoing. Hey, why leave it implied when I can spell it out?
Anyway, a little background: I ran out of coffee last Thursday (bear with me, I think this aside is relevant...) so I thought I'd take the opportunity to just, you know, not have coffee for a few days, see how that went. And it was fine. A cup of tea kept the dreaded mid-afternoon caffeine withdrawal headache from attacking me and, honestly, no big obvious changes either positive or negative. And then this tumblr post (I am this close || to joining tumblr for real) reminded me that just because I don't know where to find Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee around here doesn't mean I can't get some. It's always been my favorite, since I first tasted it. Seriously, I had a sip and said "so this is what coffee is supposed to taste like" it really remains the platonic ideal of coffee for me, though I have not had nearly enough opportunities to drink it. Also, super expensive, so I probably wouldn't be able to justify making it my everyday coffee even if it was available right down the street. But, hey, out of coffee + reminder that I can order delicious coffee = I ordered some. Not from the company in the video, because their website does not play well with Safari (I have found a browser it works fine in and will order from them eventually, but I didn't think of that until I had a half-pound on the way to me from another source) and it arrived today.
Upshot (a) YUM!, (b) I feel much more capable and alert (more on this in a minute) and (c) my fingers started twitching again. This is a think I've only noticed in the last few months, sometimes my fingers will get all trembly, it's a little unsettling. After my doc suggested maybe my thyroid levels were high I was hopeful that that was why, but my test results came back normal so I guess not. But could two cups of coffee be enough to cause that? Seems like not enough.
Anyway, why did I think I needed to make that aside? I'm not sure now. But the main point I wanted to make was in regard to RV shopping - I've looked at craigslist and confirmed that there are a LOT of cheapish RVs for sale and I don't have to jump on this particular one right now, and I think the sane thing to do is to find a job, see what I can do about making my income and mortgage coexist peacefully with refinancing or something (if necessary, I suppose it's possible I will make enough money to just keep paying the note, but I have never made that much money before so it feels pretty impossible) and THEN go shopping for Back Up Plan Hit the Road (hopefully while I still have enough savings to make that easy).
So. Plan.
You may have noticed that the first step was "get a job" which is something I should have been working on all this month but haven't. At all. Partially because I don't want to de-purple my hair, it's very pretty right now, even with the roots showing. I thought it would fade more, but this dye is really as good as Candace said it would be. But mostly because OMG I hate looking for work so much more than actually working. I have kept many a crappy job for way too long because that whole selling yourself to employers thing is such a drag. Ugh. And right now I feel like I could keep up with some sort of job if I could do it while keeping my head down, but no way could I cope with interviewing and all that.
So I am confessing that here in the hopes that admitting it will help me just get over it already so I can at least work on my resumé. I can do that without taking a shower or anything, so, come on self, get with the program. Worry about what you will do with the resumé after it's all put together and shiny. You can revise, it's allowed.
And you have coffee, now, so - no excuses.
Anyway, a little background: I ran out of coffee last Thursday (bear with me, I think this aside is relevant...) so I thought I'd take the opportunity to just, you know, not have coffee for a few days, see how that went. And it was fine. A cup of tea kept the dreaded mid-afternoon caffeine withdrawal headache from attacking me and, honestly, no big obvious changes either positive or negative. And then this tumblr post (I am this close || to joining tumblr for real) reminded me that just because I don't know where to find Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee around here doesn't mean I can't get some. It's always been my favorite, since I first tasted it. Seriously, I had a sip and said "so this is what coffee is supposed to taste like" it really remains the platonic ideal of coffee for me, though I have not had nearly enough opportunities to drink it. Also, super expensive, so I probably wouldn't be able to justify making it my everyday coffee even if it was available right down the street. But, hey, out of coffee + reminder that I can order delicious coffee = I ordered some. Not from the company in the video, because their website does not play well with Safari (I have found a browser it works fine in and will order from them eventually, but I didn't think of that until I had a half-pound on the way to me from another source) and it arrived today.
Upshot (a) YUM!, (b) I feel much more capable and alert (more on this in a minute) and (c) my fingers started twitching again. This is a think I've only noticed in the last few months, sometimes my fingers will get all trembly, it's a little unsettling. After my doc suggested maybe my thyroid levels were high I was hopeful that that was why, but my test results came back normal so I guess not. But could two cups of coffee be enough to cause that? Seems like not enough.
And even if it is, I have to balance that against how much better I feel for having drunk some. Not that I have been feeling bad the last few days, but I was very slow to accomplish anything (which, to be fair, happens even when I am in my usual coffee-drinking routine) and wanting to sleep way more than usual (like, not getting out of bed in the morning, mostly). So, tradeoffs I guess.
Anyway, why did I think I needed to make that aside? I'm not sure now. But the main point I wanted to make was in regard to RV shopping - I've looked at craigslist and confirmed that there are a LOT of cheapish RVs for sale and I don't have to jump on this particular one right now, and I think the sane thing to do is to find a job, see what I can do about making my income and mortgage coexist peacefully with refinancing or something (if necessary, I suppose it's possible I will make enough money to just keep paying the note, but I have never made that much money before so it feels pretty impossible) and THEN go shopping for Back Up Plan Hit the Road (hopefully while I still have enough savings to make that easy).
So. Plan.
You may have noticed that the first step was "get a job" which is something I should have been working on all this month but haven't. At all. Partially because I don't want to de-purple my hair, it's very pretty right now, even with the roots showing. I thought it would fade more, but this dye is really as good as Candace said it would be. But mostly because OMG I hate looking for work so much more than actually working. I have kept many a crappy job for way too long because that whole selling yourself to employers thing is such a drag. Ugh. And right now I feel like I could keep up with some sort of job if I could do it while keeping my head down, but no way could I cope with interviewing and all that.
So I am confessing that here in the hopes that admitting it will help me just get over it already so I can at least work on my resumé. I can do that without taking a shower or anything, so, come on self, get with the program. Worry about what you will do with the resumé after it's all put together and shiny. You can revise, it's allowed.
And you have coffee, now, so - no excuses.